Enjoy little things

Alex had just got done working the night shift, and after school I went to go see him. Obviously he was exhausted because he worked all night, so I just cuddled under the covers next to him and let him continue his slumber. At first, I was quietly doing my homework but seeing him so fast asleep and serine, I feel asleep too.

I've always suffered from bad nightmares. People say, "It's just nightmares." But, when you wake up three, four, and five times a night screaming, crying and too afraid to go back to sleep because of what you'll dream, it's suffering. While I lay there sleeping next to Alex, I have one of those crazy awful nightmares. Normally when I sleep with him I don't get nightmares. It's odd, I know, but truly I don't. So, when I woke up breathing heavy and afraid, I was actually surprised. I looked over, and Alex was still sound asleep facing the wall. I was scared though, and I didn't wanna go back to sleep.

"Alex.." I whispered to him, and he automatically woke up and rolled over.
"What? What's Wrong?" He knew something had to be wrong cause I normally don't awake him from sleeping unless there is.
"I had a nightmare.." He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight. In a sweet, soft voice he said,
"It's okay. I got you." In this moment, I felt safe. I felt loved, and warm inside. I nudged my head against his chest and closed my eyes.
"I love you." I said, It just seemed like the most approriate reply because of the way he made me feel inside.
"Mmmm, I love you too." He said back to me in his sleepy tone. I feel asleep a little while after. I've learned to appreciate these small moments. In the end, these small moments some of us may think are insignificant are the only things that will matter. It won't be what grade you got on a test, whether or not your laundry is done, or anything else we think is important. It's the little moments with the people that we love that count; that matters in the long run. These moments are what warm our soul, make our heart flutter, and put smiles on our faces. So, just enjoy the little moments that you may think don't make a difference, because they do.

Life's funny in some ways

Life hits you with hard obstacles. All the things you think you've ever wanted in life changes in a moment. I strived to get into a college of my dreams, and guess what? I got in. You would think that that was it? Yes, I got in! Wrong. Life hits you like a swirling tornado. There is so many other things that factor into this moment; you realize that the things you want in life are harder to achieve then you thought. 

St. Scholastica is the college of my dreams. An amazing school, most people that have graduated from there make almost 6 figures or they do 6 figures. Great people, great area, and a place that is close to home. A dream. Only, is it close enough? That's what my inner demons are battling. The location of my school is in Minnesota, but just because it's in Minnesota it doesn't necessarily mean that it's the RIGHT location. Living in Maine has been great this year, but with every second I'm here thousands of miles away.  I can hear my heart breaking piece by piece. My one true love, my little brother, is there without me; here I am without him. Being close to him is what I need, and Duluth is a hour if not farther from him. I've been away so long I don't need to be gone longer than I have to. Have you ever had that? The gut wrenching and stomach twisting, heart stopping, sad feeling about a person that you can't be with? That every time you are in a store and you hear someone that sounds just like them, your heart stops and then starts beating a mile a minute. You get goosebumps and you start smiling, searching the store because you swear it' them. I think most of us have had this at least once. Whether it was a girlfriend/boyfriend you can't get out of your brain, or it's a love one that is no longer with us; most of us have thought they heard their voice somewhere. For me, this is an ongoing 24/7 thing. 

The most frustrating part is that I got accepted to another school closer, but it's a community college. Which, is fine but it isn't what I wanted. I need to think about everyone else in my life as well. It's hard though. Half of me wants to just take the selfish route. Go to the college of my dreams, get that kick-ass job, and live an amazing life. The other half of me just wants to be around my love ones, and be happy. Which one do I choose? Alex, my amazing self-less fiance, he wants to be able to see his friends he hasn't seen in a year and be around his family. I should respect that. He moved to Maine for me, so I should make this sacrifice for him. I should pick the self-less route. I will still be getting a higher education which is the only important part, isn't it? The college I go to shouldn't be the important part. I'll be around my family, his family, both of our friends, and I'll be with the man I love. That should be the most important part, and eventually it will be. Not the life choices I make or you make, but who I make them with and who you make them with. Your family and the people who mean something to you is what you should value in life, and that is what I am going to do. Not value the materialistic things.